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That Feeling When Sales Feels… Icky
We’ve all felt it – that moment when someone’s trying to sell us something and it just gets our backs up or our eyes glaze over. Not because we’re closed to support but because of the way it’s being offered feels off and honestly, quite manipulative.
The bait-and-switch ‘free’ webinars that promise to teach you something but spend 40 minutes reminding you of your pain points, dangling the solution inside a paid program.
Or the pretend scarcity – it’s a digital course, surely there’s unlimited spots left, not just 3?! Don’t play on my FOMO!
Or maybe the most irritating of all: those cold DMs from people trying to build their business (which I absolutely respect), but who’ve been taught to pitch strangers with zero context. “You’d be perfect for this!” …Um, how do you know?
All of these approaches feel a bit gross, a bit pushy, a bit off.
And that fear of coming across like that? It literally kept me from doing anything for far too long. My confidence and work identity were already on shaky ground from being at home for a few years — the last thing I wanted was to put myself out there and feel fake doing it.
And I’m guessing you don’t want that either.
The Real Reason Selling Feels So Off
Here’s the bit I didn’t realise for ages — it’s not just the tactics that feel off. It’s what they represent. That old way of selling is rooted in applying pressure and performing i.e. being louder, bolder, more polished than you actually feel.
And when your identity’s still recovering from the whirlwind of motherhood…. That’s a whole lot to ask!
It’s not just “I don’t want to be salesy.”
It’s: I don’t want to betray myself to be seen.
And that’s what so many of these approaches miss. They don’t just feel pushy — they feel like a mask. A disconnect. Like you have to play a role just to participate.
And honestly, I don’t have the energy to sustain that – do you?!
If you’ve ever hesitated to share what you’re working on — not because it wasn’t good, but because you couldn’t stand the idea of sounding like that — I totally get it, me too.
I knew I needed to find another way.
What if Selling Was Just… Connecting?
Thankfully, I found a couple of people who modelled a different way – where marketing was rooted in honesty, not hype. Where you could focus on the person, not the pitch.
It’s not about crafting the perfect pitch or having all the right words. It’s about being open. Sharing something real. You don’t have to tell your whole life story — but when you let people in, just a little, they start to see themselves in what you’ve shared.
And that’s where the connection happens. Because it’s not salesy, it’s human.
Those little moments of truth — the doubts, the turning points, the lessons — they’re what make someone reading go, “Oh, she gets it. She gets me.”
And when you genuinely help without pushing for anything in return, guess who they think of when they’re ready?
The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
Let’s face it — if you’re running a business or even just thinking about it, you’ve probably felt this tension.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
- Your visibility can come from generosity… or vanity.
- Your sales can offer clarity and choice… or coercion.
- You can be loud… or you can be real.
It’s a mindset thing. It’s about intention. And people can feel the difference — whether you realise it or not.
I choose to sell authentically. Not just because it feels better (though it absolutely does), but because I genuinely couldn’t do it any other way.
This might look like:
- Sharing a simple tip that’s helped you — even if it doesn’t “convert.”
- Saying, “Here’s how I can help when you’re ready,” instead of “You’ll fail without this.”
- Posting a quiet reflection that connects, rather than a flashy reel that performs.
And this kind of marketing sticks, because it’s rooted in truth.
💡 If you identify as an introvert, this piece on navigating confidence quietly might speak to your strengths in a way traditional business advice never has.
So… What Do You Actually Say?
Let’s be honest — even if you want to show up more authentically, sometimes you don’t know where to begin.
You sit down to “share your message,” and suddenly… zip. Nada. Your story feels either too much or not enough.
You second-guess everything.
You wonder if anyone even cares.
But the truth is, what your people are drawn to — is you.
Your journey. Your perspective. Your voice.
When you build your message around what you know to be true, marketing stops feeling like selling. And starts feeling like sharing.
Coming soon: A free guided journal to help you find your voice and start sharing it with confidence. I’m putting the finishing touches on it right now, and I promise — it’s worth the wait.
Want me to let you know the moment it’s ready? Join my email list here and I’ll send it straight to your inbox the second it’s live.
A Gentle Nudge
Marketing doesn’t have to feel fake or forced.
It can feel like truth-telling.
Like opening your front door and saying, “Here’s what I’ve learned. Want to come in?”